viola

Well, I was, as my old PE teacher would say to my great annoyance, "conversating" with a few people today... And the viola rant came up.

Let me explain, once and for all, why you either have never heard of the viola or are under the impression that violists are just failed violinists. (Or, perhaps you understand, like me, why the viola is the most beautiful string instrument that's around today. But that's highly unlikely...)

First off, deffinitions. I'll start you with a dictionary definition (ok, a google defintion, but whatever):

viola - a bowed string instrument of the violin family that is intermediate in size and compass between the violin and cello and is tuned a fifth below the violin.

Now my more personal definition.

The viola is an instrument that looks like a violin, but larger. For comparison, the body length of a standard full sized violin (the length from the bottom of the instrument to the point where the neck begins) is 14". Violas range from 15.5" to 18". This may not seem like much, but try holding your arm out to each of these lengths plus about 4 inches (so try 18 inches for violin, then try 19.5 for viola). Quite a difference, huh? It gets even more different when you consider that this extra length means that your entire hand shape gets larger: The distance between the notes on the strings is quite a bit larger.

The viola is lower in pitch, and much, much, much more sweet in sound. Plus, you don't have to put up with the concerto crap: No one does that on viola. The viola is made for chamber music, and solo it has this weird quality of being able to sound like either a violin, a cello, or something else entirely at will.

Now, let me tell you a few jokes:

What's the difference between violists and terrorists?
Terrorists generally have supporters.

Very funny, huh?

Next:
So, a violist is walking along the beach... And suddenly, he accidentally kicks something in the sand! He bends down to pick it up, and finds that it's lamp. He tries to clean it off, thinking it might be worth something... And suddenly, out comes a genie! "You have my eternal gratitude for freeing me from that tiny lamp," says the genie. "I can grant you one wish." The violist thinks for a moment, and decides that he should be as selfless as possible and wishes for peace in the Middle East. "Let's see a map here," says the genie. "Let's see... Israel... *mumble* Palistine... *mumble* Arabs *mumble* Jews *mumble* I'm really sorry, sir, but that's really beyond my ability... I'd do it if I could, but I just don't have the power." "Oh, that's all right," replies the violist... "Then... Could you at least give the the ability to play in tune?"
"Um... Let's see that map again for a second..." replies the genie.


Now do you see the stereotype? Violists are all perceived as being failed violinists, switching to viola for the "less challenging" reperatoire, and being unable to even play that well.

Now, let me tell you how this stereotype came about.

First off, let's be clear: The viola is not acoustically perfect for its range. That is to say, for the range in which it plays, the viola doesn't play so well. To create a good sound on the viola requires a lot of work, even more than I'd say it does on the violin, mainly because you need to play one way on the high strings and a completely different way on the lower strings, unless you want to produce a crappy sound. And even so, it will never ring quite in the same, soloistic manner as the violin, which, yes, is acoustically perfect for its range.

For this reason, throughout history, until really the 20th century, the viola has been relegated to a backup role. I'm told that in Beethoven's time it was actually the instrument of choice (he was a violist himself), but it still got the middle parts, the backup parts, while the violins and cellos played the solos to a packed hall.

This is where one half of the stereotype comes from: Viola music is not nessicarly any easier. It's just that, unfortunetally, the vast majority of it is backup, not getting any soloistic, interesting parts. Solo viola? There really isn't any. I'd say half the pieces I've played on viola were originally written for another instrument. At least. We make due. But we aren't slackers. We work just as hard, play just as challenging pieces as violinists due (at least those of us who are serious about the instrument).

The other half of the stereotype is also quite easy to figure out.

If you know anything about violin, you'll probably know that violin's have an official size. All "full sized" violins have a 14" body length. You can also play fractinal sizes, but these are generally for students. I myself started on a 1/2 sized violin, and I've known people who started on 1/8 sized violins.

There is no such thing as a full size viola. There is no one, standard size. The smallest violas, like I said earlier, are 15.5" in bodylength, and the longest usually 18" (although no one really plays those). This also means that there are no "half size" violas. You get one in the size I just mentioned, or you don't get one at all.

The reasoning behind this is that anything smaller looses that distinctive viola quality to its sound. It just becomes an out-of-tune violin.

Thus, no good violists start on viola. If you want to be good, you start young, before you can handle a viola of normal size. Thus, every good violist started on violin. Every single one.

Thus, we're all apparently failed violinists.

And it doesn't end there. Because viola is so very much not in the public consciousness, most people have their children play violin instead, and most people don't switch because they don't even know what a viola is. And the result is that there simply are never enough violists to go around. Orchestra conductors and chamber music programs always find themselves short on violists... And so, to cope with the problem, they ask violinists (of which there are always way, way, way too many) to play viola for a bit. These violinists don't know how to play viola. They don't read the clef. They can't make a good sound. They can't stretch to hit the notes. And thus, they sound like crap. And so, violists get stereotyped as people who not only failed at violin, but are now failing on their chosen alternative.

The effects of all this lead to some very interesting jokes, as well as really interesting conversations for us violists. I've had many of these encounters myself. Here are a few.

Last summer I was at a chamber music camp called Sequoia. I had been there before, but this was my first time as a violist. My roommate from the year before was named Avi. He seemed like a pretty nice guy. I'm laying in bed trying to sleep, and there's a little party going on out in the hallway involving many screaming guys. One of them is Avi. While I listen, he goes on a ten minute rant about how he hates all violists because they're all spineless sissies who have no perserverence. I don't think he knew I was listening, but I don't think he would have cared if he did.

This year, back near the begining of the first semester, I was talking to a friend of mine named Cliff. "Yeah," I said, "I haven't had a free lunch period in ages." "Why's that?" "I've been rehersing... Chamber music stuff." "Oh! You play an instrument. Which?" I think for a moment, hoping he knows what a viola is. "Viola," I say, taking the risk.
"Mi-ola?" he asks. Oh well. "No, viola." "You mean violin, right?" "No, I most certainly do not. Viola."

Being a violist also has its perks, though. There's never much competition to get into chamber music programs, so you get to go in and just try your best, not worrying about any prodigies who might be there as well. And there's a certain touch of pride to being universally known as "The violist" or "Viola Boy", to people who know your name and to people who don't.

That's my rant, and I'm sticking to it.

-lelandpaul
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